Haha okay so from which aspect do I look at?
Friends?
Lovers?
I will just answer in both aspects.
Friends:
1) Being open-minded and easy going.
2) Be a conversationalist.
3) Kindness.
4) Sincerity.
4) Thoughtful and considerate.
Lovers:
1) A wicked sense of humor.
2) Family-oriented.
3) Ability to express himself in words and in actions.
4) A kind, loving and sincere heart with good moral standards.
5) Tolerance.
Im done! And yea I realized both lists are rather similar. I guess there's really not much difference between Friend and Lovers.
In my opinion, Lovers are Friends whom we have a deeper interest (romantic), mutual attraction (or Lust as most people calls it), are people whom we can see ourselves building a family with and growing old together.
I know the rules didnt require me to explain the lists but I just felt like sharing my thoughts and views. Afterall what is a blog for eh? :)
Ive always found it difficult to find a true friend. When I was a lil girl, my daddy use to advice me on finding true friends and how they would influence my life.
I vividly remember him lifting his right hand, spreading all five fingers saying that the number of true friends he have is countable with just one hand.
I agree with him. It's not easy finding a friend so true anymore. But I have learn to not keep my expectations too high. We are imperfect human beings after all.
Glad to say, I do currently have a number of awesome friends who have been with me through thick and thin and they all possesses the traits I have listed above.
Now on to Lovers.
Ive learnt alot from my first relationship and Im glad I went through that experience. It had taught me to be a stronger woman and brought me to realize what I really want in a partner. Most importantly, it taught me to understand myself better.
I was from a single sex school for the entire 11 years(normal academic) of primary and secondary education which significantly reduces the chances of any interaction with the opposite sex. Thus I had never gotten into a relationship or as it was called in those days, puppy love till I was 17 and heading into my first year of poly.
I have only been in two serious romantic relationships (and by serious, I really mean no fooling around, no breaking patching and all that) in my life and am currently still in my second relationship. My first relationship was tumultuous at the very least.
Because we were both each other's first loves, we were passionate. But it was passionate to the extremes, swinging both ways. One moment we are declaring our never ending love for each other and the next we are raging dragons breathing fire and shooting daggers in forms of degrading words and yelling till our throats are parched.
Heated arguments lasted hours and hours as though it will never end. On the phone, face to face, it drags and drags. At the end of it all, we were both thoroughly exhausted and utterly depleted.
Nevertheless, to say that we were not serious about this relationship would be unfair to us both. I could honestly say we did our best and as cliche as it sounds, it was just not meant to be.
I put my all into this relationship, so much so that when the signs of the first few cracks in the relationship appeared, I broke down.
I became distant and lost and so depressed, I became a different person. It took 9 long, self-loathing months for me to finally pick myself up and trudge along. That might seem rather short to all of you but to me, that was the longest 9 months ever. It felt like 9 years. No joke.
After that grueling period, I started seeing the signs that everyone around me was trying to warn me about when I was in that relationship. I began noticing how different we really are and the minute details that was not visible before are now smack right into my face.
That's was the moment I started believing in the phrase "Love is blind". Not trying to say anything bad about him here because in all truth, he is a decent, nice guy whom just happen to be with the wrong person at that point of time and vice versa.
But anyway, after that relationship I began to realize what I truly want in my man and that helped me in the process of getting together with my current love. We have been together for a short 6 months, and there is already a very obvious difference with this relationship as compared to my first. It is... less taxing Id say.
Our arguments ended pretty quickly most of the time and with visibly much less aggression and we always make sure we would make it up to each other at the end of the day. We never had cold wars, only occasional silent treatments meted out by me which explains the need for tolerance as stated on the list.
Im happy to say that my current beau have met most, if not all of my requirements. He is able to make me laugh all the time and cheers me up when Im down. He tolerates me when Im at the dreaded time of the month or when I have my selfish moments.
He is kind to all and bear no grudges and possesses the same moral standards as myself. He have proven in many ways that he sincerely cares for me and have no hidden ulterior motives like most guys Ive met (Sadly true).
What I love about him is that he is able to express himself, his love, his thoughts....everything into words to me. Not just in words but verbally and in actions. Most of all, I love that he is a family man and that he cares about his family as well as mine.
As perfect as he sounds, he is still human and thus have his flaws which I would politely leave out in this post. Why ruin such an awesome declaration of love eh? ;)
So that sums it all, the ways to win my heart. Now you know :)