So I recently realized, from Joel, that Im a rare breed.
Dont get me wrong, Im not boasting.
For one, the term 'rare breed' is often coined with domestic animals.
Im naive and easy to read but at the same time, I can be direct.
At first I didnt quite get this sentence.
Naive but direct?
It makes no sense.
Then it dawned upon me one fine night while staying up and chatting with a friend, the meaning of that very sentence.
I tend to assume that everyone I meet are nice people who are caring enough to want to know me.
Even strangers who I have just met.
I would be able open up to them and go into personal details, thinking that this is fine, it's normal, that Im just being friendly, that it really doesnt matter cause...who am I to them strangers anyway?
I open up to strangers so easily because those are moments when I felt like I have nothing to hide, that I am truly being myself.
Those are people who have yet to know me for who I really am and they have not been exposed to any negative opinions, malicious gossips etc about me.
And I guess, I took it as a chance to show them the real me before any of such afore mentioned came to their ears.
It makes me happy to know that after sharing with people about myself, my life, my history, they are able to understand and relate to me.
Most importantly, they like me.
But I was wrong.
I learned, there's a huge difference between being curious and being genuinely caring.
Most of these people are just being curious.
Curious at why this girl could be so naive to share her innermost thoughts about everything to everyone.
Their interest are piqued and so they continued listening and nodding heads..so intrigued while all this while, this silly girl was happily thinking to herself that she is glad she made a new friend.
When I share with people, I often unconsciously expose my weaknesses.
And some of these people, whom I thought were potential friends, took advantage of this knowledge and used it against me.
I am human. I have feelings. And these feelings do get hurt when betrayed by people I trust.
But then again, who can I blame but myself for being stupidly naive.
Im just glad I manage to see the light in such situations.
Ive learned so much since being with Joel.
God bless his soul for being so tolerant and understanding with me.
Ps: If you were wondering why most of my posts are emo ramblings, that's because I mostly blogged when 1) Im down 2) Im bored and so damn awake in the middle of the night. I beg your pardon.
Pss: If you realize, it's been almost 20 days since my last post. Ive been quite a happy girl and we all know who to thank for :)